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JOKES THREAD

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JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 29 May 2011, 21:21 •  [Post 1]

I see ITV have dropped Britain's Got Talent tonight for Barcelona's Got Talent.
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 29 May 2011, 21:22 •  [Post 2]

Ryan Giggs today admitted to suffering from homesickness, saying that, even though he's happy in Manchester, he does Miss Wales occasionally.
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 29 May 2011, 21:24 •  [Post 3]

10 years, trillions of dollars, thousands of soldiers dead, state of the art technology, but the US finally found Bin Laden.

In his house.
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 29 May 2011, 21:31 •  [Post 4]

"Doctor, I can't work out what's wrong with me!"
"You've got AIDS."

Somehow, the African version of House just wasn't quite as gripping.
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 29 May 2011, 21:33 •  [Post 5]

Gary Glitter is currently in china, The only plase you can slide minors up and down your shaft and get applauded
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 29 May 2011, 21:34 •  [Post 6]

Imogen Thomas "I went to Max Clifford to stop the story coming out". That's like saying "I gave my kids to Gary Glitter to stop them getting fucked"
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 29 May 2011, 21:35 •  [Post 7]

Gary Glitter is set to remake two Schwarzenegger films into one.

It's going to be called Kindergarten Predator.
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby manarak » 30 May 2011, 00:28 •  [Post 8]

LOL
:funny:
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 30 May 2011, 01:06 •  [Post 9]

please fellow bm's add more!!
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 30 May 2011, 01:07 •  [Post 10]

Reports have emerged that Barcelona fans sneaked into Old Trafford last night.

They unfurled a '19 times' banner in reference to the amount of times Man United touched the ball in the champions league final.
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 30 May 2011, 01:09 •  [Post 11]

Ryan Giggs spent millions trying to buy his anonymity. On Saturday night in the Champions League final he finally achieved it.
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 30 May 2011, 01:12 •  [Post 12]

A NATO strike has killed Gaddafis 3 grand children, all under 12.

Even Josef Fritzl thinks it was a bit out of order.

"They should have been in the basement" he said.
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 30 May 2011, 01:12 •  [Post 13]

On holiday in Thailand, I had a close call and almost ended up shagging a ladyboy. She looked like a woman and spoke like a woman, and I didn't suspect a thing. But then I realised something was wrong when she drove us safely back to the hotel and parked the car.
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 30 May 2011, 01:13 •  [Post 14]

When I was in Thailand last week, a woman wearing just a bra & knickers tried mugging me.


I said, "Fucking hell, you've got some balls".
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 30 May 2011, 01:14 •  [Post 15]

The radiation must have hit Thailand from Japan..... pulled a girl last night and when I woke up she had grown a cock !
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby Jake » 30 May 2011, 01:54 •  [Post 16]

pandemonium wrote:Reports have emerged that Barcelona fans sneaked into Old Trafford last night.

They unfurled a '19 times' banner in reference to the amount of times Man United touched the ball in the champions league final.


ROFL :funny:
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby Jake » 30 May 2011, 02:24 •  [Post 17]

Why are ladyboys better than ggs? They don't do this:

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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 30 May 2011, 02:35 •  [Post 18]

that's me with creepie crawlies :rofl:
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby manarak » 30 May 2011, 10:32 •  [Post 19]

Jake wrote:Why are ladyboys better than ggs? They don't do this:



haha... a ladyboy from Isaan will just think that lunch is served already!
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 03 Jun 2011, 19:41 •  [Post 20]

The Germans have advised that we no longer eat cucumbers, lettuce or tomatoes for the time being.

This is how it starts. They wait until we are malnourished, then they attack.
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 03 Jun 2011, 19:42 •  [Post 21]

BBC NEWS : E-coli breakout related to cucumbers; 7 women dead in Sweden, 5 women dead in Holland, 3 women dead in France and 1 man in Brighton.
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 03 Jun 2011, 19:43 •  [Post 22]

The E.Coli outbreak has reached America? I'm shocked. I never knew Americans ate salad
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 03 Jun 2011, 19:44 •  [Post 23]

Apparently someone threw a punch at Lionel Messi outside of a restaurant.

Rio Ferdinand has been cleared, citing that he hasn't been within 10ft of Messi in this year.
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 03 Jun 2011, 19:44 •  [Post 24]

Channel 4 News: Syrians take to the street after 13yr old boy is tortured, killed and his body handed back to his family with the penis removed.

That sounds to me like Syria is ruled by an evil Dick-taker.
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Re: JOKES THREAD

Postby pandemonium » 08 Jun 2011, 00:07 •  [Post 25]

683 Real Woman 700.jpg
http://www.amuzingthaicartoons.com

a wee bit off topic, but this site always cheers me up :happy:
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